ahh sian ~
the one month holiday is just starting and now i am complaining of being terribly BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

i guess everyone is almost as bored as i am.
shall post some jokes which i found on JOKE DIARY.
some really cracked me up (x

CNN Interview

Note: This joke is not a religious discrimination towards any race or religion. Solely for entertainment.

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out.
She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion , she approached him for an interview.

"I'm from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a damn wall."

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Always Keep Your Condoms in Your Car
True story,

I was happy.
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.

It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

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3 Guys in Heaven

Three guys die and go to heaven. The first goes up to St. Peter who says, "I have only one question before you go into heaven: Were you faithful to your wife?" The guy answers, "Yes, I've never even looked at another women."

St.Peter says, "See that Rolls-Royce over there? That's your car to drive while you're in heaven."

The second guy gets the same question, and answers, "Once I strayed, but I confessed to my wife and she forgave me and we worked it out."

St. Peter says, "See that new Buick over there, that's your car to use in heaven."

The third guy answers the same question, "I have to admit, I've chased every girl I saw, and was with a lot of women."

St. Peter says, "Okay, but you were basically a good guy, so that old VW Bug over there is yours to use while you're in heaven.

The three guys go off on their separate ways.

A few weeks later, guy #2 and guy #3 are driving along when they see guy #1's Rolls Royce parked outside of a bar. They stop and go into the bar and find guy #1 with empty bottles all around him, face down with his face in is hands on the bar.

They come up to him and guy #2 says, "Bud, what could possibly be so bad-you're in heaven, you drive a Rolls Royce, and everything is great!"

He says, "I saw my wife today!"

The other two answers, "That's great! What's the problem?"

He answers, "She was riding a skateboard!"

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Labels: random thoughts